Lots of work to do...

I went out for another walk / run jog today.  I managed to run for about 7 minutes (which felt like 20) before I felt I needed to walk again and then a further 3 minutes (but by then I reached an uphill bit in the road so had to walk from there).  Not brilliant, but I'm happy with it.  It is better than nothing. 

Apart from my impatience I realised I have to also work on my self-consciousness and shyness.  I can be extremely pushy when it comes to people and causes I believe in, but I am actually really shy and so each time I go out for my walk / run jog, I try and make sure it is at a time I am not likely to meet anybody who might recognise me.  And so each time it happens that I run jog past somebody I might know it really throws me.  So I have a bit of work to do!

It's been a little while...

since I updated this blog.  Last week I decided to just put the walking / running on hold.  The week before my knee still felt rather sore and whenever I went for a walk it would suddenly become really painful about halfway making it really uncomfortable walking back.  So I decided to just take a break.

This morning was really nice weather wise and my knee felt significantly better and so off I went - mostly walking with a bit of a jogging thrown in.  And it was okay.  Exhausting but not uncomfortable! 

I have to learn patience though.  I am typically a very impatient person wanting everything to happen right now and of course it is going to take a long time before I will be considered fit in any way.

Apart from an embarrassing moment, I feel pretty proud

Today I decided to go for my walk again.  My knee was feeling better so I thought I'd give it a go.  I walked earlier in the week and it was okay.  So Bianca and I set off for her friends' home a bit further up the street.  They invited her for a sleep over (second night in a row - isn't she lucky?).  And so Bianca set off on her scooter and scooted off a bit ahead of me while I was walking with her bag and listened to Basshunter on my ipod.  I like Basshunter because his music is a bit faster and so it encourages me to up my pace a little bit.  A bit ahead of me Bianca suddenly stopped and said "Mum, I can hear you!"  So embarrassed!!!!  Turned out I was singing along and let me tell you - my singing is best kept for the shower or if I'm on the way somewhere in the car.  By myself.  Where others don't have to hear me.  Or when the kids want me to sing the sleepy time song I made up for Bianca when she was about 4 weeks old (yes, after 8 years I'm still asked to sing it every night). 

But anyway, got there and I had a cup of tea and a chat with Bianca's friends' parents and finally I left and set off on my walk.  I decided I would try and jog just to see how it goes and I kept coping and kept feeling comfortable enough and wow!  I managed to jog quite a bit further than I ever thought would be possible.  But there I was.  Not feeling like I was about to die.  Sure my legs felt like jelly when I stopped and walked the rest of the way home, but I wasn't significantly out of breath and my legs coped okay.  Wow! I'm pretty impressed with myself.  I might actually be able to put a 5km run on my list.

So apart from embarrassing myself, I feel incredibly proud of what I achieved today.  I think there is hope for me yet!

Need to re-focus

Next week I need to re-focus my fitness efforts.  I have lost a bit of focus on the eating / exercise front.  Not that I've been eating too much and I certainly have not given in to any temptation, but I don't think I'm eating enough during the day at the moment.  So need to get back to those healthy snacks in between the breakfast / lunch / suppers.

Bianca's teacher told me today that he enjoys running hills.  He updated one of his entries with a photo of him participating in one of his runs and look - he doesn't even look tired!  A friend who is also busy learning to run a 5km race and is doing so incredibly well were saying to me just recently how much she hates running uphill and I think at this stage I very much agree :-)

At least I managed a walk

Managed a walk today along with Basshunter on the ipod.  I wasn't able to even jog really slowly, but at least I went for a walk and that is something. 

I didn't go for a walk yesterday partly because Bianca and I were quite focused on her special project and partly because I was just not in the right frame of mind.  But yes, new day today. 

The sun is out shining today so it is a really nice day for walking (even if it is a bit on the chilly side).

:-(

My one knee is still a little bit painful.  Not extremely sore, but definitely this nagging sort of painful feeling that just sits there.  Sigh!  So there is no way I can go out to attempt any kind of running tomorrow.  Paul suggested that I should maybe just walk for a few days.  And that really does make sense.  I will take any advice I can get and Paul is certainly an expert when it comes to running - so very valuable advice. 

The thing that drives me

Today's run / walk session was challenging.  For some reason my knees or the joint bits by my knees felt quite stiff and vaguely painful.  Not significantly, but a bit.  I don't know why - I didn't do anything different, I had a rest day in between, my legs were not sore from last time.  Sigh!  Not sure what was up. 

Today I found myself wondering how long before running becomes comfortable and possibly easier.  Right now I am dreading week 3 onwards to be honest. 

Remind me again why I chose to do a 5km run as my goal...

Oh well, I suppose this is like anything in life, if you really want something you need to put the effort in.  And we all know the effort is not always going to be easy. 

One thing that drives me though is the time Bianca was still on treatment and the one drug in particular really affected her legs making it nearly impossible to run and certainly not the way other kids would run.  So once her school had a cross country event which for Bianca's age really just meant running around the field and I was so worried that she would fail before she even started.  The school assured me that Bianca could either have a walking buddy or be a special helper.  And Bianca insisted she was going to participate.  And not only that, but she finished the race, despite coming dead last.  Now that is determination for you!  Read about that day here.

On track

Today is just a tiny little bit over a month ago that I started working towards getting fitter and healthier.  The first time (on this journey) I weighed myself was the 4th of August and today is the 6th of September.  In total I have lost 2.3kg.  It is really comforting to see this!

Last night I started adding weights into the mix.  So now on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays I  plan to do weights.  One day upper body and the next lower body.  They say resistance training is really good for burning fat and it will add variety to the exercise workout.  On Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays I will continue with my couch to 5km run / walk programme.  I started last week and did 2 days of Week 1 of the programme.  This week I am doing week 1 again. 

I was looking at the weather this morning and it looked like it was going to rain.  I'm not really keen to run in the rain to be honest, but thankfully it just stayed overcast and didn't actually rain.  Phew!

And so it all begins

The arrival of Spring!  Spring is one of my favourite seasons!  And so along with the arrival of new beginnings and new life I have taken one more step in the direction of getting fitter and healthier. 

Yesterday my new shoes arrived.  I was sooo excited.  So along with that I went and got a few other things to get ready for the couch to 5km programme I am interested in doing.  I bought a new tracksuit (not quite ready for shorts yet) and a good sports bra and a money belt so I have somewhere to put my ipod and keys and cell phone. 

And today I started.  I did week 1 day 1.  I will do week 1 this week and next week and from there move on.  You are supposed to have a rest day in between and fit in 3 days of training each week.  And I did it.  The last minute running was pretty hard and I run really slow still, but hopefully in a few weeks from now I'll actually be a bit faster.

I think perhaps because for the past 2 weeks in my mind I have committed to this programme, just as I have in my mind committed to my eating and I would say that the mindset is definitely one that is pushing me through. 

I did another thing recently and last night and that was to get rid of a very toxic friendship as well as a few blogs that are just plain draining to read - always wanting approval.  Always writing about how unsure they feeling and they just want constant reassurance.  But then when they make decisions and things don't go as they hoped, then the whole world knows how they have been wronged.  So yes, I just don't want to spend all my energy and all my focus on these kind of situations.  The toxic friendship is somebody who is extremely needy and extremely self-centered and when it is not about her she takes complete offence.  She is often quite negative also likes to play mind games and last night I have just had enough and removed her from my Facebook profile.

Life is far too short to be dragged down by toxic situations.  I'd rather focus on the good and supportive friends.  The ones you can simply just be yourself.  The ones who are low maintenance.

So here is to spring, new beginnings, a positive mindset and on my way to getting fit and healthy!